


When We Collide

by hollymarionn



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 15:09:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollymarionn/pseuds/hollymarionn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Split One-Shot: Brendon meets Ryan unexpectedly in a bar, more of the unexpected follows. Are things to damaged to mend, or will they forgive each others sins?</p>
            </blockquote>





	When We Collide

Brendon was just about to leave the bar when he saw him. Across the dark, crowded room he saw the man he was convinced he would never see again. Ryan Ross stood casually leaning on the bar, a drink in one hand, the other running through his short, dark hair. His stomach dropped. How could he be here, how could they be here together. A familiar pang rushed through his body, the old feelings coursing through him. Ryan was looking well and Brendon was glad for that, glad that he was okay. He took one last look back at his old friend, only to be greeted by those brown eyes rimmed carefully with black, looking straight into his. Cold chills rippled through his body as he flushed hot. He tore his gaze away and made a run for it. He pushed his way through the crowd toward the door. He was almost there, if he could just.. He felt a hand grip him tightly around the upper arm.

 

He tried desperately to shrug Ryan off. He had to get out, to get away. He couldn't do this, not again.

“Brendon, please...” Ryan's voice was soft, his grip loosening as Brendon turned to face him. It had been a long time and the two boys had grown into men in the time they had been apart.

“What are you doing here Ryan?” Brendon growled.

“I didn't know, I-I'm sorry.” Brendon just shook his head, turning on his heel and making his way onto the street outside.

“Bren, please, can't we just talk?” He heard Ryan yelling after him. He stopped, breathing in deeply, trying to calm the rage threatening to bubble over. He turned to face the older boy.

“I have been ignoring your messages and calls and emails for the past 2 years Ryan, have you not got the fucking point? I DON'T WANT TO TALK!”

Ryan stared back blankly. He looked so sad. He opened his mouth slowly, searching for the right words whilst Brendon fumed.

“I'm sorry Bren.”

“You're sorry? Well that makes everything alright again doesn't it. I loved you Ryan, I loved you so fucking much. And you.. you left.” Brendon's voice broke. Ryan reached out toward him, his eyes full of pain and remorse.

“Don't touch me,, don't even think about it Ryan.” He turned to leave. “You should never have come back Ryan, I have moved on, I'm done with you.” He spat over his shoulder.

“Just forgive me Bren, please. I was young and so confused, I didn't know what to do.” He was pleading, pleading with his old friend, his old lover.

Brendon knew he should ignore him, that he should just leave, but he couldn't. He was so mad now, he needed to show Ryan how much it hurt. He turned back slowly.

“Did you know what you wanted, Ryan, at the time?” Ryan nodded slowly.

“You.”

“THEN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING SIMPLE! You could have sorted everything else out, we could have together Ryan. But you ran off like the little bitch that you are. And how did that turn out huh?” Ryan had tears slipping down his cheeks, he looked so hurt. But Brendon wasn't finished.

“That night, I waited and I waited. I waited for you for hours before I realised you weren't coming back. Not ever. You ruined everything Ryan, you fucked everyone over. I hate you for that, and I can never forgive you for that. Or for anything.”

The older boy looked so fragile and broken now, crying silently on the side walk, blinking tears.

“What do you have to say for yourself now Ryan? Huh?” But he was done, he couldn't fight back.

“That's what I thought,” Brendon curled his lip in disgust at Ryan's weakness, guilt tightening around his insides painfully, “I meant nothing to you.”

In a blink Ryan had his fists buried in the scruff of Brendon's shirt, his face millimetres away.

“Don't you ever say that,” he growled, “don't you fucking dare.”

Brendon opened his mouth to retort back, to yell right in his face but Ryan's lips on his took him by surprise and silenced him. The taste, the feel was so familiar. As Ryan's tongue pushed roughly into his mouth, Brendon's hands were in his hair and he gave into the kiss. He had dreamed about this moment, when he would feel Ryan's lips on his again. It had been so long. He had missed the little nibbles that Ryan gave his bottom lip. The anger in his body dispersed and he was consumed with a feeling of longing. The two of them broke apart, one of Brendon's hands on the back of Ryan's head, Ryan's on Brendons waist.

“Look.. Why don't you uh, come home with me tonight. You can crash on the couch and we will sort things out tomorrow, when we have sobered up, when we are thinking clearly.” Brendon's suggestion hung in the air between them, a truce. Ryan gave a small nod and a sad smile.

 

The two of them stood in silence as they waited for a cab. When the yellow car pulled up in front of them, he opened the door for Ryan who slid in quickly and he followed. The two sat at either end of the seat. Even this felt like too much distance for Brendon. His body ached with sadness. He just wanted to hold Ryan, to apologise again and again. Instead he slid his hand across the seat. He saw Ryan watching him out of the corner of his eye and then felt his cold hand rest against Brendon's. They were just touching and it was enough. Brendon opened his mouth to say something, anything. He needed Ryan to know how sorry he was that he never tried. Ryan may have left, but it was Brendon was the one who had ended it by cutting Ryan out for good. He watched as Ryan was illuminated by a bright light, glowing halo-like around his head. He gave a small sad smile and slipped his hand into Brendon's just before the semi trailer ploughed into the side of the yellow taxi.

 

Brendon groggily opened his eyes. The lights were bright, and every part of his body ached. He blinked as he saw shadows standing over him, people standing over him, pushing and pressing parts of his body.

“Ryan..?” His question went ignored by the hospital staff as they rolled the trolley out of the back of the ambulance.

“Ryan?!” He asked again, desperation soaking the name of his old friend.

“Sir, please try to keep still, you may have neck injuries.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a second trolley be unloaded from the ambulance.

“DOA,” the paramedic said, “Identification in his wallet gives us a name.”

Brendon's gut began to twist. He was going to be sick. He was going to pass out. He couldn't breathe.

“A Mr. Ryan Ross.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey friends, thanks for taking the time to check out my fic. Pretty new at this, let me know what you think :) xo


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